What Is Too Much Sex?

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I remember when I came home from prison camp, that’s all I wanted to do–have sex! Lots of it. And I did. Well, I had more of it than I used to have when I was single. I had about one girl a month, but sometimes I had three girls in a week! If I was dating her, then we were sleeping together between one and three times a week. Sounds healthy right? Honestly, it was a bit consuming because I put sex over everything. I know it’s because I was denied it for seventeen months while in prison camp, but I made it more important than friendships, work and even paying bills on time. On top of that, I didn’t even care who I was sleeping with. I slept with all types of women from fat girls to white or black girls to ugly girls. I just didn’t care.

I was able to get it out of my system, but then I realized that too much sex is when it becomes more important than your responsibilities. When you think you need it more than anything in the world or you need it before you start to do something, then you’re having too much.

As I look back over that time in my life, I can see that it was too much because I wouldn’t talk to a girl for any reason other than wanting to have sex with her. The only thing I cared about was how long it was going to take to get her to sleep with me. When I realized what I was doing, my solution was to be celibate for a while. It took some time, but it finally worked. In fact it worked so well that I developed a habit of not wanting to talk to women in general. I went into a shell which caused me to be nervous and shy around women.

The complete turn around made me want to understand why I wanted so much sex in the first place. Thinking about it made me realize that what I really wanted was a sense of connection and affection from a woman. Knowing this, I was able to interact with others who were good to be around, like the members of my lodge. I also kept myself busy with community service or working more hours.

The other important thing I’ve done and I’m working on this now, is build my relationships with platonic friends. My theory with this is that I need to learn or re-learn how to value my female friends without turning them into sexual material objects. Now, I’m not saying I don’t want to have sex with them, but rather I’m learning how to understand them in a non-sexual manner. I’m convinced that this will lead me to better chemistry with them, while taking me away from trashy women, who are only good for sex.