Taking Gambles and Chances–And Being Afraid!


You know the only way to get ahead in life is to take chances. Why should you take chances? If you have goals and dreams of achieving your heart’s desires, then it’s the only way to get to where you want to be in life. You have to go out on a limb in order to make things happen for yourself. My goal is to become a decently or well paid writer. I believe I’m a leader in this world, or at least I have the potential to become a leader, but because I find myself too nervous to take the leap, I’ll never truly know what it takes to maintain that status.

Not only am I too nervous to take the risk, I also fear success. Fear of success in my case, is me being afraid of actually gaining what I set my heart on achieving just to lose it. I’m also nervous about the negative side of success. I think it’s crap for people to verbally abuse you, become a hater or all of a sudden think that I changed by thinking that I’m “too good” now.

However, my most pressing concern is maintaining my success. If I can maintain it, then I’ll be just as creative then, as I am now. I also want to maintain my current lifestyle. I have freedom, I live alone and I enjoy it very much. My goal is to make enough money to prevent ever having to move back into my parents house. The only way I maintain myself now is by looking for jobs and accepting whatever is available.

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What’s available? Dishwashing and serving jobs. Not too bad if you consider the fact I’m a felon and I can get a job quickly there. However, it’s not what I want to do. I mean, who wants to do that daily?  I have been serving and dishwashing and without seeing any promotion or advancement, but instead, I saw my writing suffer. This made me move from a full time dishwashing job to a temporary dishwashing job. That way I could work when I wanted and unemployment would help me from there.

On one hand, I knew what I was doing and I’m in the perfect situation–I got the time I needed to get my writing career off the ground. I don’t have to worry about being too tired after work, instead I have all the time I need to talk to people and work.

On the other hand…I’m broke like just under broke or like living on social services broke until this works out. Some may say that this was a gamble, but when I think about it, I think this gamble is worth it. It’s the best way for me to get to where I want to be in life. Now all I have to do is turn this into a blessing; I’m going to make my risk payoff in the end. All I have to do now is avoid the feeling afraid and embrace success.

What about you? Do you have a fear of success?

Categories: Mental Health