Most people want to be in a happy and loving relationship with all the bells and whistles of their heart’s desire. Those that can’t find a partner to be in love with often unwillingly settle for lonely days and nights. However, there is a new trend of men and women who would rather get hooked up with almost anyone to avoid loneliness.
I read an article that stated people would rather be in a crappy, unsatisfying relationship as opposed to being alone. “Loneliness is a painful experience for both men and women, so it’s not surprising that the fear of being single seems not to discriminate on the basis of gender,” study co-author, Geoff MacDonald. Like any other human being, I hate the feeling of being alone all day. It’s nice to have a woman in the other room. In fact, she doesn’t even have to be in the next room, she could just be the person I look forward to seeing at the end of the week.
When I was younger, I rarely fell into this trap, as I call it. I felt I had other things that I wanted to pursue, such as focusing on school and writing a novel. As I got older, I find the need for a companion more important and necessary.
I have to admit, I’ve been with women for no other reason than to avoid feeling lonely. It’s such a horrible idea because we fought and argued. I didn’t want to give them the time they wanted or deserved and ultimately I just wanted to be alone at the end of the day. It was kinda counterproductive. Maybe I blamed her for being a bad person and maybe she blamed me for being a bad person. Whatever the reason, she wasn’t the right woman for me and I wasn’t the right man for her. I think things like this happen because people want to avoid being in a dark, cold room disconnected from all that is important and beautiful.
I can’t blame them because I’m no different. If a person wants to feel included and important, sometimes it makes sense to just have someone regardless of how the good or bad the person is. I know conventional advice is to wait for the right person, but if you’re blinded by being lonely everyday, you honestly don’t care. You’ll be a strong Black militant man dating a White woman, if it means you’ll have some kind of connection with a woman–any woman.
So how do I avoid being in bad relationships to avoid loneliness? I find myself and be happy within myself. More on that in a future blog.