Ceiling. From my Herlong Prison Camp Journal


Prison isn’t a place of positive enlightenment. It’s full of strict rules and regulations, required forms and paperwork, and negative attitudes from staff and inmates. However, I wanted a positive experience. I was determined to make my stay there a beneficial one, even though I knew it wouldn’t be easy.

As I entered the prison camp, I did my best to keep my mind in the realm of positive thoughts. I knew it was going to be difficult and I had mixed emotions. I knew that I would be able to read and write all day and really get a lot done, but there was a part of me that was like, “It’s prison, only God knows what will happen.”  Still, I was determined to make my sentence at prison a positive experience. I didn’t know how, but I was sure that I was going to do it. I knew that my mind would began to listen to negative thoughts, but I decided that I would ignore it and stay out of my own way. However, I did think about the times that I did wrong. I know I’m not a bad person, but I wondered if what I did would prevent me from being a great person who could shape the world.  

When I was in Herlong Camp, I had a desire to leave Sacramento. I guess it was due to my previous success. I had lots of it. Then all of a sudden, I started failing and falling. After falling so far, I didn’t want to come back to Sacramento. I began noticing other talented artists, business professionals, and other intellects leave the area and do very well for themselves. Once I came home, staying in Sacramento made me feel like I hit a ceiling, thus one of my many reasons I had failed and kept failing. I thought my lack of resources would also contribute to it. I was fearful of failing again.

Looking back, I realize had the wrong perception about things, about life and friends, and people about writing. I understand now that my key to success is knowing that I have no boundaries or ceilings except the ones I create for myself. Truth is, are were no boundaries if I don’t limit myself, only bumps, bruises, and hurdles, which only hold me back if I allow them to do so. For instance, the internet is a great resource that I can use to reach millions of African Americans with my humorous stories, I just needed a way to access it. I also realize that I should appreciate the relationships I have. They could have helped me access the internet. However, I recognize that I created those ceilings and the walls that limited my success. It was me, no one else.

I accepted my wrong thinking and I decided to stay in Sacramento. I knew that I needed to reestablish and re-root myself, Sacramento was the best place for me to do so. It was where most of my family lived. In fact, all the family I was close to lived in Sacramento. It only made sense to come back and remember how I achieved my success. It was important for me to come back, face my fears and come to terms with the choices I’d made. I believe understanding where my problems originated will help me to become better suited for success in other cities. Plus, it’s always nice to have a home to come home to.

In the end, I kept my mind on things that were positive, even when I returned home. By doing so, I was able grasp the concept of removing limiting thoughts and actions. I was also able to become secure in my home town and continue doing business in a place that I love. Being positive has so many benefits, I urge you to try it and see what it can do for you.